Somewhere in the month of October 2019, a number of similar sounding messages started pinging on my social media from close friends.
“I am taking VRS”
“I am selling my Company and settling down”
“I am moving from a full time to a part time job”
This set me thinking on multiple fronts.The last time I encountered something like this was in the early nineties. My father and my father in law were retiring. Both retired young as they hit the age stipulations specified by their respective employers. One had a pension to bank on and the other only medical benefits – this I discovered much later. Now it is time for the likes of me and my friends – mostly out of choice rather than age bar.
So, how do you plan for an event like this. I shot off an impromptu six point checklist to my friends on WhatsApp. I have hence refined it a bit with some explanations and additions. Hope this helps!
What is your raison d’etre post retirement
What is the definition of retirement for you? For some, it is quitting a full time job but not quitting working. At the other extreme are people who want to sit in the comfort of home and look after grand children. Between these one and zero extremes, there can be other variants. For example you could be delivering Idli and Sambar to young Indians in the New Jersey neighbourhood while at the same time looking after grand children, while kids are away at work.
My advice would be to find something meaningful to do, as otherwise it can be a big vacuum. It is very difficult to sit idle and do nothing. Some of my friends are actively engaged in
– As a volunteer on the neighbourhood committee.
– Teaching young adults on the nuances of life.
– Helping an NGO with operations or managing funds.
– Consulting for companies and giving back your wealth of experience.
– Mentoring start ups.
Do note that there has been significant research in the area of lack of cerebral activity. When the brain dulls, age catches up faster than we can imagine. So do not let that happen.
Fall in love with your family
This is the time to keep your life partner close by. Companionship is very crucial in this transition period. Of late we are hearing of separation after 25 years! Go on an extended second honeymoon. Reflect on the past and plan for the future.
It is quite possible that children would be away on studies or have been married off. Either way, find a slot where the family can come together over a meal or better still travel together on a week long trip. Repeat every second year.
In between, call on your parents and in laws. If they are living with you, make conversations more often. Take them out for a stroll, let them share stories from the past. There is a lot to learn from this renewed empathy.
Watch your physical well being
As we grow older we tend to become lethargic. This does not help as muscles atrophy and the only way to keep them young is to work on them. Walking is easy to do – make it a habit. Resistance exercises (using fitness bands) should be another. And if you have the right company, play some regular sports (Tennis, Badminton or even Table Tennis)
Then comes good dietary habits. Eat fresh food even when you eat out. Eat a good variety. And make it mandatory to visit your dentist and ophthalmologist every year. It is also advisable to undertake a basic physical and blood exam frequently based on the advise of your physician.
I was in INSEAD, Fontainebleau more than a decade ago as part of a Management Development Program. One of the sessions was conducted by a medical doctor along with his wife who was a wellness consultant. While we all went through a fitness test, what struck me was the simple mantra they outlined to stay healthy – 5Ws:
Walking – at least 45 minutes
Water – Drink about two litres every day
Wine – French are big into this one, a glass of red twice or thrice would not hurt
Workout – weight and cardio depending upon your body
Wind – Deep breathing and meditation
Make a financial plan
For many, retirement would mean the end of regular income. For others, there is pension. For some, a fee income from consulting may be a breather. Irrespective of which bucket you fall in, it is important to have a worked out financial plan for retirement.
All those savings need to be invested in a meaningful way. You would have many questions:
– How much in debt and how much in equity
– How much in the short term and how much for later
– What happens if there is an emergency
– Do I have adequate insurance
– Do I need a will
There are no easy answers. What is good for the goose may not be good for the gander. My suggestion is to take the advice of a trusted financial planner. Discuss with him/her your current savings and financial requirements for the future. They will come up with a plan which can be fine tuned based on mutual discussions. Earlier the better!
Friends are welcome
We are firm believers in the joy of relationships. For us, friends provide a great comfort zone. Since last year, at least two families come over for our chai pe charcha, every month. Since we have been nomads, there is a huge circle of friends spread all over the world. And there are groups nowadays, so connecting and getting back is not difficult. But we stick to a couple of principles :
– We are firm believers in deep personal relationships
– As a corollary, we have few deep friends but a number of good friends as well.
So, meet more often with friends, even an occasional phone call would be great. This way we can still go back to live our school or college life and feel young.
When I was contemplating moving out of my full time job, one of the friends commented –
“Do you know that there are two kinds of friends? One who are friendly with you because of your position. And the second who are friendly because of who you are. Now you will discover your true friends”.
It is another matter that this said friend is yet to call me😄. Pick your friends, even otherwise they will filter themselves out as this example shows!
I am sure you also know or have heard of the Harvard Happiness Project. Meticulously done over 80 years, the study points to a direct link between happiness and healthy relationships.
If you have not, read it here.
https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2017/04/over-nearly-80-years-harvard-study-has-been-showing-how-to-live-a-healthy-and-happy-life/
Think beyond self
Hinduism divides our life into four stages. Brahmacharya, Grihastha, Vanaprastha and Sanyasa. Technically the stage of retirement coincides with Vanaprastha, which literally means going to the forest. I would like think of this period as as a transition between Grihastha (When you are fulfilling your desires and leading a fully action oriented and “I” centred life) and Sanyasa (where you turn fully inward and seek divinity within oneself).
What is the best way to live this transition period? Fundamentally, learn to let go. Practice minimalism. Stop accumulating things!
Think of service in every interaction. Always ask, what can I contribute? as opposed to what is in it for me?. Do not be bothered about what others think about you or your family. Stop living life based on what society wants. Live for what you believe in, but clearly with a focus on serving and giving back.
It is not easy to switch focus from self to others. Which is why, I call this an experimental or transition phase.
All of us want our post retirement life to be as enjoyable as the active life. One should live in peace rather than in pieces. Work on it and leave the rest to God.
Best wishes and take care!
Anubhavarasa 
