The year was 1980. The month January. I was in my final year in school. Board exams were in January. A few months have passed from the time I was selected to the school cricket team. It was a fulfilling moment. I ended up playing a few matches, scored a few runs and took some great catches. The desire to balance studies and cricket was always there. But, the pressure was shifting to focus more on studies than sport, so that I can secure a good stream in a good college.

A week before, the team had a practice at the school grounds and we were told that we would be playing a champion team at the Sainik School grounds. I was excited. This meant another chance to open the innings and show my real worth. I was pumped. I promptly took permission from the teacher for a day of absence (sort of leave with pay!). We reported early to school (I am not sure how I reached there from my house) and the school bus took us to the ground. I was gearing up to open the innings, when the captain called me aside and said that I would not be playing. My reaction can be described as “shocked” rather than “surprised”. I did an emotional gig in front of the Captain and the fellow opener. My arguments were 1) Exams are near and I am missing school 2) If you did not want me in the team, you should have told me prior and that way I could have attended classes 3) There is no way I can go for classes now. Distance, lack of transport and self respect! (how can I face the class) 4) The only decent thing to do is to ensure that I play. I am sure you get the drift of the drama that unfolded. I am sure my fellow opener would have put in a word, as he was influential in team selection and I was shortly told that I would be playing the match at my usual opening slot. I did take some blows in my body, scored a few runs (nothing substantial) and took a splendid catch. We lost the match and at the end of the day I am not sure whether I did the right thing.

The Ashwin saga that unfolded down under in December 2024, reminded me of my own story and what could have potentially happened. We would never know the truth, but did Ashwin do the right thing by opting to quit the team in the middle of the series?

Here is my view, now that I am older and saner. This is pure conjecture as we may never know the truth.

You get selected to the team from a bunch of aspirants based on your capability and past performance. You are the chosen few [16 to 20 members] from a land of 1.4 billion. There is no guarantee that you will be in the playing eleven. That depends on a number of factors including the pitch and the match up with the likely opponent team.

The fact that you have been great in the past means that you get a bit of leeway in the system. Let us be clear, past performance in this sport is an indication of the future (unlike the stock market!). And even if you are not performing to your peak potential, the coach and captain are expected to make room so that you are given every opportunity to come back into form in the match. Why not find the form outside of the match? The body is getting old and cannot afford that luxury (we need rest so that we can prolong our career and contribution to the team is the stock answer). So invariably, the expectation from senior players is that you will be in the playing eleven once you are picked in the squad.

As you grow older in the system and you get appreciated for what you have been doing in all sorts of pitches around the world, against varying opposition, multigenerational talent etc., you think you are invincible. When form drops (and your shoulder) you think that this is temporary. You assume you are a permanent fixture and you shut yourself to new thinking from the selectors, coach and captain.

A parallel universe (call it pressure if you will), is developing. You now have a family and children who are demanding attention. Your wife and relatives are not appreciative (despite the public posturing) of your worldly travel and other distractions. It starts to affect you mentally. And then you start to think that if I am not in the playing eleven, I might as well go home and spend time with the family.

We have heard in the media about a team first ethos being stated many times by the current and previous coaches. So, how could Ashwin have reconciled his mental chatter with that of team ethos. I would have liked to see him continue till the end of the series. He is part of the think tank. He is a great thinker of the game. He could have provided inputs to team management. He could have mentored the other players. That would have been the right thing to do. That would have been Dharma. That would have gladdened many hearts, including mine. Perhaps he did not have the benefit of a Krishna, who reminded Arjuna of his Dharma and prevented him from running away from the battlefield.

The same rule applies to the corporate world as well. You are selected to be a part of the organisation. Your role might change. You may be a leader for one project and play a second fiddle on the next assignment. You may be on the bench for sometime. But you are still part of the team. The extreme step of separation should not be taken in a hurry. Consult with a friend or a coach so that you can untangle the mental webs.

Here is a quote from the book NUTS about team culture at Southwest Airlines (they became one of the most successful low cost airlines in the world). It is called as the GOLDEN RULE. “It is not about self. It is about serving, rather than being served”.

Finally, if I were to replay my own experience in 1980, I should have allowed the Captain to decide the team rather than impose myself. That would have been my Dharma too.